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Post by Jukebox on Jun 18, 2007 15:29:50 GMT -5
AKeidis' story is looking good so far ^^.
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Post by Kiweh on Jun 18, 2007 15:57:48 GMT -5
=D thanks
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Post by Jukebox on Jun 18, 2007 20:32:27 GMT -5
[glow=yellow,2,300]*dies* EDITED FOR LUCY. The blue are the corrections I made before I stopped looking for them XD.[/glow]
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Akeidis brought out a small remote out of his brown shoulder bag and started pushing buttons and switching knobs on the small device. He was a grayish blue color with light grey hair that defined gravity as it pointed in every direction imaginable. He had four darker spikes that lined up along the spine of his reptilian tail and a spade-like thing that tipped it. A light grey-blue color outlined the belly of the Draik and two dark blue wings were folded tightly against his back. He bundled the jacket tighter around him as a small flame flicker beside him in a dying fire he had created to keep him warm.
"Come on..." He said pushing a few more brightly colored buttons. The small machine that he was trying to control turned on; its lights glowing and its limbs coming alive.
"Yes..." Akeid muttered his breath visible in the cold weather.
"Ok... Now find." He told the robot, his voice loud and clear so that the machine would be able to understand it. The small spider-like thing stood upright, it's light blinking rapidly. A smile broke the face of the reptile as he started to collect his things quickly, shoving them all into his bag and running after the spider. It was snowing and cold but what could you expect from Terror Mountain? His machine was designed to help him in many ways that even the creator didn't know...
At the moment it was searching for life in this cold desert.
The robot stopped after a few hours of searching. Akeidis followed almost zombie-like behind it, he practically fell over when the spider stopped. He looked up, his green eyes scanning the snow mound in front of him. He was afraid of what he might find if he uncovered whatever was under the snow...
"I thought I programmed you to find living things..." Akeid said his voice uneasy. He walked over to the lump and swept off some of the newly fallen snow. Light gray fur could be seen under the snow; Akeidis swept some more snow off, revealing the rest of a light gray bori underneath.
“Hey…?” He asked nudging the bori with a clawed hand, the creature was still breathing and normally too so he knew it was alive. The bori stirred, turning over and mumbling something under its breath. Akeid’s heartbeat grew, “Hey, bori dude!” he said excitedly pushing the bori again. The guy rolled over, looking up sleepily at the Draik; he was all grey with dark green hair that resembled Akeidis own hair that jutted out everywhere. A pair of goggles was strapped to his head, keeping the untidy hair out of his matching green eyes. They were strangely alike in that way… A bandage was tied around the bori’s front left shoulder and his tail was unusually short for his species. What surprised him most was that he was wearing a short-sleeve tee-shirt and a pair of jeans, nothing else.
“What?!” it said annoyed, eyeing the Draik. Akeid frowned, “Sorry for interrupting your beauty rest but I’m kinda lost right now and SP’s batteries are running low…” he said gesturing at the robotic spider. The bori shook himself from all the remaining snow and looked over at the machine.
“Uh, ok…” He said and stepped out of the hole he had created for himself, dragging a backpack out with him. “I guess I can guide you back home, why are you all the way out here anyways and why can’t you just fly back?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
Akeidis shook his head, “Because my wings are cold and stiff…” He scowled, “Just lead me back to Happy Valley, I can handle it from there.” He picked up his robotic petpet, switched him off, and stuffed him in his backpack with all of his other electronics. The bori shook his head, “Fine whatever…” He said and stretched, “I’m Rasi, you are…?” He asked motioned to himself when he said his name and then motioned to Akeidis when he asked for the Draiks name. “I’m Akeidis.” He said, “Thanks by the way.” He added with a toothy smile.
They ventured most of the way without conversing, most of the talking was from Akeidis complaining about the temperature and his hunger. Rasi tried his best to ignore it most of the way but finally got fed up with it,
“If I hear one more complaint from you I’m going to go back asleep and you’re just going to have to find your way to Happy Valley yourself.” Akeidis frowned again,
“Sorry but why aren’t you cold?” He asked looking up at Rasi. “I don’t get cold…” He said, avoiding answering the question. Akeidis rolled his eyes,
“Hey don’t give me that; I could have ignored you earlier instead of helping you…” Rasi said giving the little Draik a noogie, “We’re almost there anyways.” He said smiling.
Sure enough in the distance a massive town was starting to appear but at the same time the sun was starting to disappear. They walked a little while longer before Rasi stopped their trek,
“Lets, stop here… We won’t be able to keep going at night. If you think this is cold just wait till the sun falls.” He said pointing at the sky. He grabbed the backpack off his back with his teeth and started digging through it, pulling out a blanket, some energy bars, and a small pillow. “Here you go.” Rasi said throwing them over to the Draik. “I’ll be right back; I need to get some fire wood. Just make yourself comfortable.” He said and started to walk off. Akeidis looked down at the stuff and then back out to Rasi, not liking the feeling of being alone again.
“Hey wait up!” He said throwing the stuff down and running after the bori. Rasi looked down at him, “I thought you might need some help.” Akeid said twiddling his thumbs as he was stared upon.
“Ok, yeah, I could actually use some help… I just figured you would be tired.” He said and started walking again. “You can blow fire right?” he asked, his green eyes scanned the ground as he talked to the kid.
“Yeah!” Akeid said demonstrating out a little flame.
“Ok, good. When I point somewhere I want you to shoot that area with some fire. Not too much because we don’t want to burn up the wood, just enough to melt the snow away.” Rasi explained and then tried him out, pointing at a small lump in the ground where he figured some tree remains might be. Akeid smiled and shot a small stream of fire at the ground, the snow quickly melted under the intense heat.
“Ok, ok that’s enough…” Rasi said waving his hand for him to stop. The fire quickly vanished and they both looked down into the hole they had made to see a few good sized sticks. “Prefect!” Rasi said scooping them up, “Ok now let’s try over here.” He said and pointed to another spot.
The sun had completely fallen when they finished getting enough wood. Rasi used his navigation skills to find their way back to their set-up spot and they quickly started the fire. Akeid was shivering at that time, even with his jacket and the blanket on him. Rasi smiled, “I told you so…” he said in a childish way, “Try to keep moving, rub your hands together, rock back and forth. You need to keep your blood circulating, even if you do just want to sit there as a lump.” He said nudging the kid.
Akeid gave the bori a shaky nod and rubbed his hands together, feeling warmth come back to him already. The Draik gave out a tired yawn and laid down, still bundled up under his blanket and jacket,
"Night..." He muttered, closing his eyes and falling asleep almost immediately.
In the morning Akeidis had to wrestle Rasi up again, this time wasn’t as hard though.
“Ok, ok I’m up, I’m up. Just get off of me.” Rasi said pushing the playful dragon off of him, “How can you be so awake this early?” He asked, getting up and stretching. Akeid just smiled and shrugged, taking a bite out of one of the energy bars. “How many of these have you eaten?!” Rasi exclaimed, looking at all the wrappers that littered the snow.
“I was hungry.” Akeid replied, stuffing the rest of the bar into his mouth and shoving the trash into Rasi’s bag. He picked up the other wrappers too as Rasi got himself ready to leave, folding up the blanket and making sure the fire was good and out.
“Ok, you ready?” Rasi asked taking out the last energy bar for himself and securing his backpack on his plated back. Akeid nodded and picked up his own bag taking out the robotic spider before fitting it between his wings.
“The batteries should be recharged by now…” Akeid said flicking it on and setting it on the ground, the lights flickered on as it stumbled to get up and follow its inventor.
“SP, right?” Rasi asked looking at the little spider with curiosity.
“Yeah, Spyder Project 497.” Akeid said happily, watching as the petpet finally stabled itself.
“You made four hundred and ninety-seven of these?!” Rasi said looking at Akeid with astonishment.
“No I only made about seven of them but SP-7 didn’t sound as cool as SP-497.” He clarified. “It does about everything I ask it to, until the batteries get low.” Akeid said, “When I get home I’m going to make it some new batteries that last longer.” He said, picking up the spider and placing it on his head.
“Where is your home by the way?” Rasi asked, remembering that the draik had dismissed his question about it the other day.
“I’ll tell you where my home is and why I’m here if you tell me why you don’t get cold.” Akeid bargained, a small smile stretching across his face. Rasi raised an eyebrow,
“Ok, fine…” He said and with a sigh explained himself, “I have an ice power. It makes it so I can freeze things but I can’t actually get cold myself.” He said and demonstrated. He scooped up a handful of snow and in an instant it became a rock hard, ball of ice. Akeid was amazed, he took the ice-ball as Rasi gave it to him and examined it.
“Wow… This is awesome!” He said a huge smile forming on his face. “Glad you like it.” Rasi said smiling back at him,
“Now it’s your turn.” He said looking down on him. Akeid looked up, his smile shrinking,
“Ok… I ran away from home. I went on this ship because I knew it was going far, I didn’t know if was going all the way up here though. When I got off the ship I decided that I wanted to test SP out in the cold so I ordered him to find me a feather, thinking that that would be something challenging yet easy. Well it seems that there aren’t many feathers around and it was far away but I didn’t realize how far I was till we found the feather,” He pulled out a small blue Petri feather out of the side pocket of his bag, “and by that time it was too late.” He said and looked down at his feet as he walked, twiddling the feather with his fingers.
“I don’t want to go home though…” He said a stubborn look on his face, “My parents didn’t care much for anything I did, they thought all of it was a waste of time and that I needed to be outside and playing sports instead of lounging inside, working on SP.” He said and looked up at his spider that was still resting on his head. His green eyes met Rasi’s and he frowned, “I figured I would get off of this iceberg and find a place where I could set up a shop, a shop for robots and stuff!” He said excitedly, the smile reforming on his face. “Or maybe I can stay with you!” he said with an even brighter smile. Rasi’s eyes grew wide,
“Stay with me? Uh, no… I think you need to get back to your parents, I mean they must miss you.” He said trying to change the mind of the kid with a useless attempt. “Why? They hate me, they probably haven’t even noticed my disappearance yet.” He said, crossing his arms. Rasi didn’t respond to that, he didn’t know the kid’s parents so he couldn’t really talk on their behalf. They continued walking in silence till they reached the town.
”Ok, we’re here…” Rasi said as they passed a sign labeled ‘Welcome to Happy Valley!’. They entered the town and went straight into the main shopping area.
“Oh, oh, can I have a slushie?” Akeid asked, pointing at the ‘Slushie Shop’.
“You want a slushie? In this freezing weather, you want a slushie?” Rasi asked with a smile. “If that’s what you want…” He said and walked over to the small building. Akeid had to stand on his tiptoes to read all the flavors they had and even then he couldn’t read the ones at the top. Rasi picked him under his arms and held him up so that he could see all the flavors,
“The Blue Pop one is my favorite.” Rasi said gesturing at a blue one,
“Ok I’ll get that one!” Akeid said pointing at it. The Eerie nodded and started to make it while Rasi put Akeid down and dug around in his pockets for the money. He pulled out about four hundred and fifty neopoints and handed it to the cashier, “Please come again!” The Eerie squawked, taking the money happily and giving them the slushie.
“Here ya go sport.” Rasi said handing the drink down to Akeid. He smiled as he received the slushie and started sipping on it immediately,
“If you want some just ask.” He said the straw still in his mouth.
“Na, I’m fine… Just don’t drink it too fast, you’ll--”
“Ahhhhh! Brain freeze!!!” Akeid said, now clutching his head.
“--get a brain freeze…” Rasi finished, taking the drink from him so he wouldn’t accidentally spill it.
“Uhhhhhg…” Akeid groaned and then looked up.
“You ok?” Rasi asked with concern, he knew exactly how that felt for he did the same thing all the time.
“Yeah I think so.” The draik replied taking back the drink and sipping on it more cautiously now. They walked to the boat docks without any more problems. “Ok well the next docking should be here in about and hour or so, they are never on time…” Rasi said and looked down at Akeid who was trying to get the last smigit of slushie out of the bottom.
“I think it’s gone…” Rasi said and pointed at the trash can. Akeid threw it away without a complaint and looked up at the schedule,
“I don’t want to go though…” He whined, crossing his arms.
“Fine, I guess I’ll go back to my house by myself then.” Rasi said turning around with a smile.
“You don’t live here?” Akeid asked with confusion, it was mostly a relief though; he had no desire to live up here in this snowy wasteland.
“No I live down in Neopia Central.” He clarified and started heading toward a restaurant. Akeid smiled and followed him,
“Oh, cool!” He said and followed along behind him. They arrived in the restaurant and took a table; Rasi ordered a basket of fries and some water for both of them.
“So what do you like to do besides make robots?” He asked as he watched Akeid but his petpet back in his bag to avoid strange stares.
“I play video games and computers and fix things. That’s why I wanted to make a shop, because I can fix about everything there is.” He said with a smile.
“Video Games, huh?” Rasi said thinking about what the Draik just told him.
“Yeah, I already beat all the ones I have at home though and my parents won’t buy my anymore.” Akeid said and took some of the fries as they were delivered.
“We have some at our house but no one has beaten my records.” Rasi said with pride. “Lue, my brother, stinks at them so there is no real competition… You can try your hand at them though once we get there.” He smiled.
“Yeah that’ll be so much fun! What games do you have?” Akeidis exclaimed, taking another handful of fries.
“Oh, all sorts… I can’t name them all off.” Rasi said and then had an idea, “There is an arcade game in here somewhere…” Rasi said looking around. “I think it’s near the bathrooms, come on.” Rasi said and got up, heading for where he thought the game was located.
He entered a quarter in the slot and pulled up a chair for Akeid to stand on, “There you go.” He said watching as the Draik started to weave through the game with no difficulty. “I got to level twenty-two before I finally died…” Rasi said watching the kid kill every bad guy and save every civilian easily. By the time the boat showed up Akeid was still playing and Rasi was sitting in a chair beside him on his fifth basket of fries.
“Sorry, squirt, time to go…” He said and Akeid nodded,
“Ok just let me beat this last guy…” He said and hit a few more buttons on the controls. Akeid was on level fifty-nine when he finally let himself be killed,
“Ok, let’s go.” He said smiling and following Rasi out the door after he paid. As they boarded the ship Rasi shook the captain’s hand,
“Hello, Rasi!” The captain said a broad smile forming on the bearded mustached face.
“Hey Captain.” Rasi said with an equal smile. “Just on my way back.” He said and then gestured down at Akeid, “I seemed to have picked up someone though, you don’t mind if he tags along to?” He asked, his smile becoming serious.
“Ah, no, he’ll be fine.” The captain said and then moved to the side to let them on,
“Welcome boy!” He said and patted Akeid’s head…
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Post by Kiweh on Jun 18, 2007 20:47:01 GMT -5
wow... thanks.... O.O You didn't have to do that ^^ *huggles*
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Post by Kiweh on Jun 18, 2007 20:51:31 GMT -5
I found a few more errors so I'm going to copy and pate this in where I put the story and then fix all the other things ^^
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Post by STARLING on Jun 19, 2007 13:58:03 GMT -5
Whoa, looking gooood :3333
I have that picture for you done, btw. I just need to scan it X3 Which I will do... *looks at calender* Tomorrow! Cos I'll be at my dads ^_^
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Post by Kiweh on Jun 20, 2007 10:41:33 GMT -5
*cheers*
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Post by Jukebox on Jun 20, 2007 10:51:01 GMT -5
I could do a pic too, if you want...I've got time.
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Post by Kiweh on Jun 27, 2007 8:05:09 GMT -5
Ok ^^ Yeah I turned it in but she wants me to fix some mistakes and then turn it in on the deadline to yeah I still have time to add some more stuff in it =D
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Post by Jukebox on Jul 31, 2007 9:26:13 GMT -5
So, congrats on making finalist. I just wanted to point out that there are still a few errors here and there whe it comes to spelling ^^.
Akeidis' is spelled incorrectly in the top links and the first line of 'Future Plans'
'my vision range' with Dre sounds a bit odd to me, same as 'I shall be the one called Lue', but that's just my opinion.
There's a good chance I might of missed something, or you fixed it already XD. So yeah, just trying to help out.
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Post by Kiweh on Jul 31, 2007 11:45:05 GMT -5
Thanks =D
mmmk ^^ *goes to look*
Yeah I plan on redoing the family thing because yeah it is kinda weird and it all sounds the same to me... I also am going to add more pics and change the ones that are already there. I fixed Akeid's eye on the main pic because it looked weird xD but all is good now =D
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Post by Kiweh on Aug 5, 2007 18:42:40 GMT -5
 pixie =D well it is a makeable anyways ^^ I thought I did good with the pixle part =D |
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Post by Kiweh on Aug 13, 2007 15:01:06 GMT -5
Akeidis will now me a scorchio... or a draik if I think I can save up to 2 mill....... probably not >.<
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Post by Kiweh on Aug 13, 2007 17:13:13 GMT -5
This is what knox said when I asked her what was wrong with my app... I'm really surprized that that beth girl didn't get it because she has a mind blowing application...
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Post by Lilium on Aug 13, 2007 17:31:41 GMT -5
She picked someone just cos she participates in plots? *angry eye twitch*
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