Post by Lilium on Jan 11, 2007 22:54:49 GMT -5
Some random story I typed up in the last ten minutes. I tried to get to 1000 words before stopping and made it to 1048. Warning: Contains some language and extreme randomosity.
~~~~~~~~~~
There was nothing for her here. Nothing. She could stare blankly at the sky and nothing would come to her. A speaker phone could fly from the sky, hit her in the face, and make her say something stupid such as, “Ow, for the love of cheese monkeys to the Holy Grail.” Of course, there was no such relations between cheese monkeys and the Holy Grail, which pointed it out more so as stupid. And what would a speaker phone be doing falling from the sky??
The more she thought about things, the more she lost it. She took her instrument and threw it halfway across the world. Too far, she threw, for it circled ’round the globe and hit her in the back of the head, knocking out two teeth and an umbrella. She looked at the picture of her father and his two brothers, and ate it. The tack pierced her heart and she died.
No, she didn’t die. Rather, she woke from a horrible, horrible dream. She quickly grabbed her phone and called her best friend, who picked up after several decades.
“Hello, is this Tuna?” her best friend asked.
“No, Button, it’s me.”
“Oh, hey! Listen, Tuna’s gonna call, so can you hang up now? Oh, tuna fish and sour cream loves so much, does it not?”
“Yes it does,” she said awkwardly, waiting for the speaker phone now. “But I cannot hang up, I’m afraid. My hand is glued to my ass.”
“Well break off the blinds and scratch it for all I care!” And Button turned off the phone and waited.
And so the girl who was best friends with Button sat there staring at her work, which was, of course, blank. She tore a pillow to shreds and shoved them into the hot chocolate she burst into flames with her golden ring. Too bad, paint fell. And when the car drove up, she almost died. She rushed outside and flung herself into oblivion, crashing into the old man as she did. He pushed her and beat her with a cane.
Bruised and with utter dispair, she retreated to her home village and ate a nearby tentacle. She didn’t think much about what was going on, other than the fact that Bob Barker was an idiot. “Stupid Bob Barker,” she growled. “Four money, hah!” The fact that Tuna had a date with Fish AND button didn’t worry her so much. Another day, another leaf to pull down, eh?
“And furthermore, I digress,” she informed her mother’s future tombstone. “I will be with you, running from the rain when it reaches the end of the line. See myself reflected in the broken glass as the gates come crashing down. There is blood on the tracks tonight and rust inside our veins. Will we ache every time we hear the storm? Running behind me… Oh…” She sang loudly and jovially and the birds dropped dead. Her brain was beginning to itch and her eyes fogged. Her fingers ached, but she knew it must be done.
Quickly, she followed Jafar to the ends of the sand to the Cave of Wonders. She took Iago and pulled Gilbert Gottfried from his stomach and dragged him far, far away. She made it home, and had sadly forgotten Gilbert back at the train-and-rope station. “I hope he’s okay,” she muttered, but really could care less. She had a job to do.
She traveled to the ends of the earth and beyond, until she realized she was going in a circle and was getting nowhere. The guards pulled her into jail and she beat on the man in the cell with her because he asked her for her bread. She kicked his balls and screamed until the cows came running. She ate her way out of the prison jail and through the suburbs of eastern Saudi Arabia. Nothing was stopping her now, not even the weakness in her eyes and fingers and her strong desire to relieve herself.
Twenty-four moons rose and many men fell as she grabbed a bow and went insane. She quickly rushed forth, knowing it was too late to go back now. She’d gone this far, what was stopping her?? Nothing but the sky, which she broke with a sapphire arrow. She couldn’t read back, nor reach to see the past. Only her bodily fluids ate away at her soul, and she penetrated the earth with a spear. The poor ground groaned and pulled her to the depths of hell. She gripped the sides of the wall and ignored the wicked laughter from the magma below. No edits, no redos, no do-overs… it was now or never. She wouldn’t give up, she couldn’t give up, until she reached the thousandth…!
Never mind the ignoring pain growing from nothing. She didn’t think. And that was causing such fast success. It had only been five minutes, and look at where she was now! She lassoed the woman in front of her and showed her the love of her life and ran forth. “NO BEHIND! NEVER,” she screamed, fearing flesh would arrive at her home any moment.
Home! She was almost there, less than a hundred away. She dove and broke and ate and cried and looked out the broken window. She remembered to blink and breathe, blink and breathe, until she made it. How much longer? She checked. 100! Until she reached it, she would never make it… she would fail, she would have failed herself, her people, her monkeys, her friends, her everybody! Tuna would dump Button for sure and who would be there to sympathize once she was down? No, no, it would not end this way!! It was a passing afternoon that took them all away, no?? She heard the cough of Jose at two oh six, and she heard the ringing. RING! RING! RING! The paper flew, she caught it in her hand. Grabbing the second important utensil, she gathered her remaining strength and found her way home.
She reached her home. And she smiled, then grinned, then laughed! She’d done it! And she put the pen on the paper and wrote it all down in ten minutes… and as she did so, she said to herself triumphantly,
“Take that, Sir Writer’s Block.”
~~~~~~~~~~
There was nothing for her here. Nothing. She could stare blankly at the sky and nothing would come to her. A speaker phone could fly from the sky, hit her in the face, and make her say something stupid such as, “Ow, for the love of cheese monkeys to the Holy Grail.” Of course, there was no such relations between cheese monkeys and the Holy Grail, which pointed it out more so as stupid. And what would a speaker phone be doing falling from the sky??
The more she thought about things, the more she lost it. She took her instrument and threw it halfway across the world. Too far, she threw, for it circled ’round the globe and hit her in the back of the head, knocking out two teeth and an umbrella. She looked at the picture of her father and his two brothers, and ate it. The tack pierced her heart and she died.
No, she didn’t die. Rather, she woke from a horrible, horrible dream. She quickly grabbed her phone and called her best friend, who picked up after several decades.
“Hello, is this Tuna?” her best friend asked.
“No, Button, it’s me.”
“Oh, hey! Listen, Tuna’s gonna call, so can you hang up now? Oh, tuna fish and sour cream loves so much, does it not?”
“Yes it does,” she said awkwardly, waiting for the speaker phone now. “But I cannot hang up, I’m afraid. My hand is glued to my ass.”
“Well break off the blinds and scratch it for all I care!” And Button turned off the phone and waited.
And so the girl who was best friends with Button sat there staring at her work, which was, of course, blank. She tore a pillow to shreds and shoved them into the hot chocolate she burst into flames with her golden ring. Too bad, paint fell. And when the car drove up, she almost died. She rushed outside and flung herself into oblivion, crashing into the old man as she did. He pushed her and beat her with a cane.
Bruised and with utter dispair, she retreated to her home village and ate a nearby tentacle. She didn’t think much about what was going on, other than the fact that Bob Barker was an idiot. “Stupid Bob Barker,” she growled. “Four money, hah!” The fact that Tuna had a date with Fish AND button didn’t worry her so much. Another day, another leaf to pull down, eh?
“And furthermore, I digress,” she informed her mother’s future tombstone. “I will be with you, running from the rain when it reaches the end of the line. See myself reflected in the broken glass as the gates come crashing down. There is blood on the tracks tonight and rust inside our veins. Will we ache every time we hear the storm? Running behind me… Oh…” She sang loudly and jovially and the birds dropped dead. Her brain was beginning to itch and her eyes fogged. Her fingers ached, but she knew it must be done.
Quickly, she followed Jafar to the ends of the sand to the Cave of Wonders. She took Iago and pulled Gilbert Gottfried from his stomach and dragged him far, far away. She made it home, and had sadly forgotten Gilbert back at the train-and-rope station. “I hope he’s okay,” she muttered, but really could care less. She had a job to do.
She traveled to the ends of the earth and beyond, until she realized she was going in a circle and was getting nowhere. The guards pulled her into jail and she beat on the man in the cell with her because he asked her for her bread. She kicked his balls and screamed until the cows came running. She ate her way out of the prison jail and through the suburbs of eastern Saudi Arabia. Nothing was stopping her now, not even the weakness in her eyes and fingers and her strong desire to relieve herself.
Twenty-four moons rose and many men fell as she grabbed a bow and went insane. She quickly rushed forth, knowing it was too late to go back now. She’d gone this far, what was stopping her?? Nothing but the sky, which she broke with a sapphire arrow. She couldn’t read back, nor reach to see the past. Only her bodily fluids ate away at her soul, and she penetrated the earth with a spear. The poor ground groaned and pulled her to the depths of hell. She gripped the sides of the wall and ignored the wicked laughter from the magma below. No edits, no redos, no do-overs… it was now or never. She wouldn’t give up, she couldn’t give up, until she reached the thousandth…!
Never mind the ignoring pain growing from nothing. She didn’t think. And that was causing such fast success. It had only been five minutes, and look at where she was now! She lassoed the woman in front of her and showed her the love of her life and ran forth. “NO BEHIND! NEVER,” she screamed, fearing flesh would arrive at her home any moment.
Home! She was almost there, less than a hundred away. She dove and broke and ate and cried and looked out the broken window. She remembered to blink and breathe, blink and breathe, until she made it. How much longer? She checked. 100! Until she reached it, she would never make it… she would fail, she would have failed herself, her people, her monkeys, her friends, her everybody! Tuna would dump Button for sure and who would be there to sympathize once she was down? No, no, it would not end this way!! It was a passing afternoon that took them all away, no?? She heard the cough of Jose at two oh six, and she heard the ringing. RING! RING! RING! The paper flew, she caught it in her hand. Grabbing the second important utensil, she gathered her remaining strength and found her way home.
She reached her home. And she smiled, then grinned, then laughed! She’d done it! And she put the pen on the paper and wrote it all down in ten minutes… and as she did so, she said to herself triumphantly,
“Take that, Sir Writer’s Block.”
